Yep, I did it again. I won the UK Lottery without filling in a form, speaking of Magic.
It must be the tenth time I won it by now, at least that's what they put in those mails I keep getting.
Another one I just received is that I'm approved to get 7500 US$. Thanks!
Listen people! It's very nice of you all to send me a mail but most of this rubbish goes strait into the bin.
And if I win the Lottery again, please, just send me the Check!
Thanks.
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
George Bush on school visit
President George Bush went on school visit in the US to find out if he was still popular among(was he ever?)the American youth.
He held a short speech and asked the children to ask him some questions.
Little Steve raised his hand and said:
I have three questions for you:
1.How did you win the elections even when you had less votes?
2.Why did you attack Iraq without any proved reason?
3.And don't you think that the Bom on Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist act of the century?
Just at that moment the school bell rang and the children ran out of the class.
After the short recess the children took their seat back in class.
And President Bush asked the children again to ask him some questions.
Little Jenna raised her hand and said:
I have five questions for you:
1.How did you win the elections even when you had less votes?
2.why did you attack Iraq without any proved reason?
3.Don't you think that the Bom on Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist act of the century?
4.Why did the school bell rang 20 minutes to early?
5.And where is Steve?
He held a short speech and asked the children to ask him some questions.
Little Steve raised his hand and said:
I have three questions for you:
1.How did you win the elections even when you had less votes?
2.Why did you attack Iraq without any proved reason?
3.And don't you think that the Bom on Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist act of the century?
Just at that moment the school bell rang and the children ran out of the class.
After the short recess the children took their seat back in class.
And President Bush asked the children again to ask him some questions.
Little Jenna raised her hand and said:
I have five questions for you:
1.How did you win the elections even when you had less votes?
2.why did you attack Iraq without any proved reason?
3.Don't you think that the Bom on Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist act of the century?
4.Why did the school bell rang 20 minutes to early?
5.And where is Steve?
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Be carefull what you wish!
A 60 year old couple is celebrating their silver anniversary when suddenly a fairy appears.
The fairy says : both of you can wish anything you want.
Oh nice says the old lady, I wish for a trip around the world because I never did that before.
No problem says the fairy and she starts waving with her magic stick. Suddenly their is a flashlight and then the old lady is sitting there with her hands full with flying tickets.
Then the fairy asks the old man: what is your wish Sir?
The old man looks at the fairy for a while and then says: I want a woman that is 30 years younger then me.
Ok says the fairy and once again she starts waving with her magic stick and once again there was flashlight.
And then the man was 90 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fairy says : both of you can wish anything you want.
Oh nice says the old lady, I wish for a trip around the world because I never did that before.
No problem says the fairy and she starts waving with her magic stick. Suddenly their is a flashlight and then the old lady is sitting there with her hands full with flying tickets.
Then the fairy asks the old man: what is your wish Sir?
The old man looks at the fairy for a while and then says: I want a woman that is 30 years younger then me.
Ok says the fairy and once again she starts waving with her magic stick and once again there was flashlight.
And then the man was 90 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Joke of the day: Are you a Manager?
A man flies in a hot air balloon over Singapore and realizes he is lost.
He sees a man walking on a street and lowers his balloon within hearing distance.
Excuse me, he yells. Can you help me? I promised my friend to meet him somewhere half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am!
The man on the street answers: yes, You are in a hot air balloon and floating about ten meters above the ground. You are approximately at 1,14N and 103,55E.
You must be a system controller says the man in the hot air balloon.
Yes I am says the other, but how did you know?
Well, says the man in the balloon: everything you say is technically correct, but I don't have any use of this information. And all in all I'm still lost.
The man on the ground is thinking for a while before he looks up again and then asks the other: You must be a manager?
Yes I am says the man in the balloon, but how did you know?
Oh, says the other man,that is very simple. You have no idea where you are. You have no clue where you are going. You made a promise to someone while you have no idea how to keep that promise and you expect me to solve the problem. You are still in the same position as before we met, but for some reason it just became my fault!!!
He sees a man walking on a street and lowers his balloon within hearing distance.
Excuse me, he yells. Can you help me? I promised my friend to meet him somewhere half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am!
The man on the street answers: yes, You are in a hot air balloon and floating about ten meters above the ground. You are approximately at 1,14N and 103,55E.
You must be a system controller says the man in the hot air balloon.
Yes I am says the other, but how did you know?
Well, says the man in the balloon: everything you say is technically correct, but I don't have any use of this information. And all in all I'm still lost.
The man on the ground is thinking for a while before he looks up again and then asks the other: You must be a manager?
Yes I am says the man in the balloon, but how did you know?
Oh, says the other man,that is very simple. You have no idea where you are. You have no clue where you are going. You made a promise to someone while you have no idea how to keep that promise and you expect me to solve the problem. You are still in the same position as before we met, but for some reason it just became my fault!!!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
What's the moral of the story
It is winter and it is very cold. A little bird is in such a bad state that can not even produce a single whistle sound. A duck who notices the little shaky bird tries to help it. So it picks up the little bird and puts it in the center of a big pile of cow shit. although it doesn't smell all that good at least the bird starts to warm up again and starts singing.
A little bit later a fox passes by and notices the little bird and without any hesitation fox the fox swallows the little bird with feathers and everything.
What is the moral of the story?
a) If someone gets you in the shit,it's not always with bad intentions.
b) If someone pulls you out the shit doesn't always mean they do it with good intensions.
c) If you are in deep shit its better to keep your mouth shut.
A little bit later a fox passes by and notices the little bird and without any hesitation fox the fox swallows the little bird with feathers and everything.
What is the moral of the story?
a) If someone gets you in the shit,it's not always with bad intentions.
b) If someone pulls you out the shit doesn't always mean they do it with good intensions.
c) If you are in deep shit its better to keep your mouth shut.
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